The 12 Steps To Divorce

I have been both a counsellor to couples and gone through divorce myself; I do have a quite a bit of expertise in the field. It is an unfortunate fact of life in North America that 10% of our population has gotten at least one divorce between 2001 and 2005. The average age of women seeking a divorce is 26 years and it is 30 for the men. Fidelity does not seem to be as important as it once was back in the 50's.

Be clear that you can work at turning your problems around if you find a way to make the marriage work. All that said; when the marriage counselling doesn't work, and one or both of the spouses are ready to part company, the time has come hopefully to find the most painless way of severing the ties that bind.


12 Steps to Divorce


1. Get all your financial and legal papers rounded up and in order. This includes pulling up your credit report so that things can be divided fairly, closing all joint accounts, and keeping your own property separate from your spouses.

2. Open your own credit card, bank and other accounts.

3. Change the people to whom you are leaving your money and possessions.

4. It may be a good idea to hire an advisor to discover just what you are worth as a couple.

5. If you are a woman use your maiden name from now on.

6. Make sure your retirement funds and your health coverage is in order.

7. Keep track of all the things you do while acquiring the divorce.

8. Use the library, free legal associations and your computer to educate yourself.

9. You are bound to have a lot of mixed feelings about the divorce, be your own best friend and try keep your emotions under wrap. You can grieve later.

10. Other than those decisions to do with the divorce, try not to make any life altering changes until you have had a chance to let things settle down.

11. To find a lawyer that will be in your corner; enquire of friends and the local bar association for referrals and make an educated decision.

12. Stay closely involved in your case both mentally and physically. Your lawyer is there to go to bat for you legally but you are responsible to tell them what you want during the proceedings.


Now at this point I would like to say that it isn't always the woman that is the victim in a divorce, sometimes the man is the one that has been mistreated, often both have in different ways. So here is a book for the man that needs some consideration. Men's Divorce Tactics